I ain’t gonna lie – it’s been a rough one…

Today has been one of those days….it’s the first time I’ve had to work a 10+ hour day since I changed my schedule.  Just a bit of history – I used to work four 10-hour days with Thursdays off; now I work 8-9 hours 4 days a week.  I requested the drop in hours because I was becoming too run down.  Counseling for weight loss requires more than nutrition advice; people want to know you genuinely care about them, and because I do care, it’s very easy for me to “pick up” other people’s emotions.  Sounds weird, but if a patient of mine is down or depressed, I sometimes leave the office feeling down and depressed as well.  I realized I needed more “me time” so I could balance work, home life, and my own health goals.  Okay, long explanation there…sorry about that….

…so today was an 11 hour day work day.  We had a meeting this morning at 7:30, and because I like to have time to decompress before work, that means I had to be at the office by 7.  After our staff meeting, I taught two classes today and saw 5 or 6 patients individually between 8:30 and 5:30, with a few 30 minute “catch-up” breaks here and there (time for paperwork and dictations).   I also had a few cancellations which gave me a little more time to get my charts in line for Friday.  This was by no means a difficult day emotion-wise; none of my patients were having major crises or in tears but MAN do I feel wiped!  And boy did I let things get out of hand this afternoon….

Here’s the low-down of my day’s eating:

Things started out great at 6:30am…

A peanut butter banana smoothie…

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(recipe in my previous post)

…and Tuscan Pane Bread with ~2 tsp peanut butter:

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Our medical director is turning 50 this weekend, so we threw him a surprise party to celebrate.  He didn’t have a break in patients until 1:30, so I had a “pre-lunch” at 11:30:

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carrots, almonds, and yogurt/cereal:

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1/2 cup Kashi GOLEAN Honey Almond Flax cereal, 1/2 cup nonfat plain yogurt, and drizzle of agave

This was the spread for the birthday celebration:

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And this was my plate at 2pm:

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Salad with a bit of cheese, 1 slice turkey, 1 meatball, and veggies (a co-worker fixed this for me while I was in class and added dressing, but I didn’t use it).  The meatball was delish though!   And dessert:

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Fruit and a homemade chocolate chip cookie – my ABSOLUTE favorite.

Okay, so not bad really considering all the other things I could have added (chips, cake, cheese, crackers, ham, more meatballs, you get the picture) BUT two hours later things go downhill quick:

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It started with a Kashi chewy granola bar…

which led to almonds…

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….dipped in the last of my ground almond butter

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I had more almonds than pictured, probably another serving or two at least…and several handfuls of Kashi crackers.  All because I was trying to avoid the cookies in the break room with “healthier” snacks instead.  Knowing darn well I wasn’t hungry; just tired and craving stuff.

And so after my last patient at 5:30, I said “screw it, I’ve already blown it, might as well eat them” so I proceeded to eat not one, not two, but FIVE chocolate chip cookies AND a slice of cold homemade pizza I had in the fridge for Friday’s lunch.   Darn homemade cookies, why do you call out my name?  So now I’m officially disgusted with myself, but at least I can feel proud about the fact that I fessed up and didn’t avoid blogging.  That’s the whole point of this, right?

So, no dinner tonight since I’ve eaten dinner plus some already.  I’m not going to sit here and beat myself up – tomorrow is a new day and these things happen sometimes; at least that’s what I tell my patients.  This is where I’m supposed to listen to my own advice.  I tossed the rest of the almonds since they are just too darn tempting, and the cookies will be gone by the time I return to work on Friday.  I WILL get back on track as of this second and tomorrow will be better.  🙂

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